Pomodoro Motherhood
the key to undistracted playtime, housework, and hobbies
We bought a beautiful, old house in December. It has been everything we could have dreamed of and more in a house. Sitting on an acre of land with farm fields all around, it has a gorgeous, high-ceilinged living room, big dining room, his-and-hers offices (yes, I have a room of my own with big windows looking at my backyard!), and a hundred tiny details that make me breathe thanks every day. How is this my house??
It has also needed a lot of work. The previous owners were elderly, and a few projects had been neglected. The last owner had left behind her books, furniture, clothing, food…so that the first ten days were just spent sorting, donating, and throwing out the contents of five closets, three bedrooms, twelve cupboards, and ten bookcases. We found some Roman coins and two Gucci belts in the hoard, but mostly it was moth-eaten sweaters and 1970s china.
Though the initial blitz of cleaning and organizing is over, there’s still a lot of fixing and tidying to be done. The house is poorly insulated, we don’t have enough shelves for all our books yet, and every room has a long to-do list.
I love a project!
I happily remarked to my husband after moving in, “I won’t be bored for months!”
Boredom, and its companion, loneliness, have been my greatest challenges as a stay-at-home mom. There’s less room for either now that I have three kids, a homeschool load, and a needy house, but I remember feeling very listless back when I only had one child who couldn’t carry on a conversation yet. (I still think that one child is harder than two.)
Even working part-time, reading a lot, and pursuing hobbies, even keeping up the housework, cooking, and errands, even reading aloud and playing with my little girl, the time still weighed heavily on me. Twenty minutes of picture books and ten minutes of playing with blocks is fun at first, but when it’s every day, multiple times a day, I’m tempted to disappear with my phone or go work on something else. Even dishes with a podcast is more fun than playing hide-and-go-seek with someone who can’t count yet.
But I don’t stay home to wash dishes. I stay home to spend time with my kids. I can’t ignore the routines and projects that keep the household running smoothly, but I can’t devote all my energy to them.
The first solution is to bring my kids into the chores. Two-year-olds can fold washcloths and put away toys, and any child loves using a damp rag to dust, wipe out the fridge, or “wash the floor."
But I also want to play and read with them.
But I also want to be productive.
My solution: pomodoro.
Named for Italian pomodoro tomato-shaped kitchen timers, pomodoro is a productivity method in which you work 25 minutes and rest 5. You can vary the work and rest times, but the important thing is that you eliminate all distractions, then focus and hustle through the work. Don’t bother even checking the clock: when the timer goes off, you’ll get a break. It’s really useful for writing, reading, and studying, but it’s also helpful for cleaning, laundry, small home-improvement jobs, and yes, playing with kids.
When doing work around the house, I either set a regular timer or set a sleep timer on whatever podcast or audiobook I’m listening to.
Pomodoro Housework - 20 minutes
laundry
dishes
sweeping
paying bills
insulating pipes in the basement
washing windows
decluttering
insulating windows
hanging curtain rods
vacuuming
If I finish one task before the 20 minutes are up, I move to another. When the time’s up, I stop. That’s enough housework. (The timer for housework is short because kids can’t go longer than 20 minutes without needing anything. They will probably come ask for something 5 minutes in.)
Time to play with the kids!
Stack some books, get out the legos, and turn on some classical or modern instrumental mustic in the background at reduced volume. Set the timer again for 30 minutes. Then PLAY. NO phone, no chores, no sneaky, “I’ll tidy while you play,” which is a fine strategy for other times of the day. Now’s the time for eye contact and leaning into their goofiest games.
Pomodoro Playtime - 30 minutes
read aloud
build with legos or blocks
play Old Maid or Go Fish
dance parties
tickle fights
play with cars
play hide-and-go-seek
play make-believe
(These are all indoor activities because it is currently very cold in upstate New York.)
When the timer stops, take a break! Head back to a chore or eat a snack or start thinking about dinner.
Or maybe, if they’re being good and the house isn’t too crazy, take some guilt-free time for yourself. Turn on the timer or music again.
Pomodoro Hobbies - 30 or 45 minutes
read
pray
write for the Substack or myself
sew
organize a space that isn’t urgent but makes me happy, like my desk or my wardrobe
bake something fun
stare out the window, doing nothing
borrow my daughter’s ukulele
When and When Not to Pomodoro
Of course, I don’t live my whole life by timers - how bleak that would be! I don’t use pomodoro at all for exercise, cooking, homeschooling, recording or editing audio, quiet evening time, or most of my time with my family. I usually bring it out when I need to motivate myself to get going on an ennui day, or to hold myself accountable for something I’ve put off, or to limit myself to a reasonable amount of housework.
Chores expand to fill the available space, so it’s good to hear the buzz and know I should stop cleaning and go hang out with my kids or scribble in my journal. I don’t dislike housework in the moment. It’s actually pretty enjoyable, especially if no one is crying or asking me for something. I don’t feel unhappy while I’m cleaning, but the resentment builds around 8:30 when I realize that I could have read a few chapters instead of puttering around the house. No one needs a martyr in the kitchen.
If you’re a little bored, or your energy and enthusiasm boom and bust, or you’re feeling guilty about not spending enough time on something (or someone) you value, try out a little pomodoro motivation.
Pomodoro Kids - 5 minutes
You can get your kids to tidy the room while a song plays or fold laundry while you read to them. I rarely use actual timers unless the point of their work is speed. Just as I only use a timer on a mental math drill worksheet and not a regular math assignment, I might time something uncomplicated and kind of fun to do fast (putting away stuffed animals), not something that induces panic if it takes longer (putting away books correctly).
Suggestions
Here are a few of my favorite timers and audio backgrounds:
For playing with kids, music at half-volume, a 30-minute sleep timer:
For silly games or for housework with kids, music at full volume, 5-minute sleep timer:
For reading to the kids, either silence or music at quarter-volume, 30-minute sleep timer:
For solo housework:
YouTube: The Daily Connoisseur, Diane in Denmark, Dana K. White
Podcasts: The Rest Is History, Office Ladies, Homemaker Chic
Audiobooks: just finished Stephen Fry’s Harry Potter recordings, started Ginny Yurich’s Until the Streetlights Come On: How a Return to Play Brightens Our Present and Prepares Kids for an Uncertain Future
For prayer:
silence and a timer
For writing:
either silence or a lo-fi soundtrack remix on YouTube
For sewing or baking:
musical soundtracks, especially the 10th anniversary concert for Les Miserables